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Problems that twins face

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10th-Dec-2016       
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Life Desk :
Having siblings can be fun. Right from having someone to play with, to that one person who is always ears to your issues. However, there's more to this than just fun. Siblings face a lot of compatibility issues and that only multiplies with twins. Here's a look at five issues that twins face as a part of growing up as well as later in life.
Identity crisis
Although onlookers might think wearing similar dresses is cool, most twins detest this. "I would hate wearing the same dress like my sister's on most special occasions. This would add to the confusion, and would get extremely annoying," says Nistya Singhal, a BMM student. Identity crisis is one of the biggest issues that twins face; they are often mistaken as the other one. This creates a lot of rift between the two, and in most cases, stays with them even after they grow up.
Peer pressure
It usually happens with twins when they are in schools and colleges. Their aptitude in studies and the choice of friends is very closely noticed and monitored. If one has better grades and good camaraderie, while the other turns out to be a vagabond, everyone seems to be eyeing their moves. In fact, friends and relatives start questioning the weaker twin about his whereabouts and constantly pressurise him to follow the better twin.
Coping with competition
Most twins are characteristically different from each other and have complete unique qualities. However, if one is better than the other, it creates a lot of problem for the other one to cope with the constant competition. Parents, teachers and friends start comparing the two in terms of good and bad, which worsens with age. "In fact, there are times when this competitive feeling makes either one dominating or suppressive," says Girija Nair, a counsellor.
Career choices
Although they look similar, most twins are poles apart when it comes to making choices in life. "For me, it is always the funda of 'To each his own'. If one is a brilliant student and chooses to be an engineer and the other one, an artist, it doesn't mean that they lag in any way whatsoever. Career choice is a major issue among identical twins as people think they have the same aptitude," adds Nair. Nonetheless, twins are subjected to constant advice from people about the choices they make in life, especially about their careers.
Who gets better with age
Although competition and envy take a backseat with age, what creeps in are ego clashes, concerns if the other one looks better with age and end up having a better life. "A lot of these issues are never surfaced; it's only the twins who experience these internal conflicts. It bitters their relationship further, and hence what looks like the ideal pair of siblings, gradually turns into people who hardly extend a hand to each other," says relationship counsellor Sadhana Patil.
-ToI

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