Be the perfect couple, even after having kids07 February 2014
Life Desk :
It's possible to keep the passion alive even after you turn parents. Listen in to know how.
It's not easy to keep the chemistry going once there's the pitter-patter of little feet in the house. There's laundry to be done, chores to be attended to, budget to stick to, dinner to be cooked and sleep to catch up on. And, when all that's done, the cycle begins all over again. But, and this is an important pause, being man and wife is not altogether impossible either. Read on to find out how.
Love starts at the door
You're back home after a long day's work and your toddler is already at the door waiting to get into your arms. Your spouse has to wait at least another 45 minutes to get your attention.
Relationship experts will tell you that a healthy bond between mom and dad is the foundation stone of a stable home and that stone has been laid at the entrance. Sweep your child in your arms, but head straight to your wife/husband and land a peck on their cheek and add a warm hug. This will tell them that you are still their number one priority and leave them feeling special. Plus, your kid will glow in the love that you two share.
Be a couple again
Parenting often leaves you too tired to share anything more than a hug at the end of the day. But do it. To make it easier, and not another chore that has to be crossed off your list, keep up the flirt quotient through the day. The light touch, caress on the neck, or the kiss/hug won't just help keep the fire of romance burning through the sleepless nights but also show your kids that marriage isn't all about budgets and responsibilities.
It didn't work while you were dating, so why do you think it's okay to lose your cool at the slightest things now? True, he didn't order the groceries on time and she didn't remember to put the load in the washing machine. But, is shouting about every little oversight going to help reverse that? Learn when to let go of the little things. There will be bigger battles to fight. Relationship experts suggest yourself before you start steaming: in the long-term (think two years from now), will this really matter? If the answer is a negative, you know that you need to stop yelling.
Keep the date alive
Now this one has a under-lying rule. First, is that you should HAVE date nights. The next step is to keep the date alive even when you return home. You may have a babysitter or a friend/parent who chips in while you are out. Either way, when you're back, don't let discussions about the kids' behaviour or what /she ate, or how long they took, kill your mood. Tuck your child in bed and snuggle with each other. Let the dishes be tomorrow's problem.
Get a life
Remember the friends you used to have? They are probably waiting to hear from you (not necessarily about the new word your kid's learnt though). Meet them for a beer or dinner. Catch a movie. Or go alone, if you want some 'me' time. Take up a class you have wanted to. And encourage your partner to do the same. Work around each other's schedules. There's nothing like being in love with yourself to make you love someone else with equal vigour.